I usually try to keep my art inspirational but if i’m being honest, i don’t feel inspired
i don’t feel the fire nor the desire
to do anything that this retched existence may require
the relationship between me and my stability is getting dire
It’s 4 in the morning, i can’t sleep but Lord knows i’m tired
shit
(pause for dramatic effect)
to be honest? right now i wish i could quit
because
nothing seems to be working
every effort i put in pulls me into a whirlwind of confusion
everything i’m working toward oftentimes just seems like illusions
and people? ooo don’t get me started ,people can be so goddamn confusin
we’re all so broken bruised and used to abusin
so, now i’m losin
hours and hours of peace of mind
like, i thought i prepared well so I would be ready this time
and guess what?
just like every year before, the pain and the stress are just weighing on me more and more
i’ve preached about peace all week somehow now my mind is at war
i’m sore
from fighting and fighting and fighting
i’m descending into the pits and i can’t find my lighting, my lighting, my lighting
i always look forward to this time of year though because I guess I forget
How quickly everything that’s good gets transmuted into shit
and maybe i’m being dramatic, just a tiny bit
but the state of the world is bringing me even closer to madness
I’m
lost and confused and confused and lost
they’re looking at me for answers, to call the shots of a boss
but I feel less.
far less than a leader more akin to a broken meter
thats desperately trying to calculate how much the world needs her
or him
or them (you know, i don’t assume agenders)
i wish i could plow my fist through empty buildings without breaking a thumb
i wish i could quit being sad and just embrace the fun
but I simply just can’t find my light.
or my will to fight
i’m freezing up cuz i can’t afford to take a flight
right now, I wish I was higher than an old man’s kite
or the rate of a white republicans spite
toward niggas like me
but the democrats are no better
they both bow their heads to the upside down double u letter
the rain from inexplicable hurricanes couldn’t even make the blood on their hands any better
my reservoir of hope isn’t empty but it’s leaking profusely
i would say i’m depressed but i don’t wanna use the word too loosely
truthfully
any signs of hope or peace seem far too similar to pipe dreams for me
i wish I had enough financial freedom to take my girl out to eat
or not stress about the S with a line through it for a week
honestly anything
that could remedy my suffering
would be nice right now
my dreams used to feel closer than they seemed but my eyes are stuck in the pipe right now.